My Sweet Victory

“I walked alone…at least  that’s what I thought.

I can see the end, but it seems so far away.

I’m not sure I’ll make it on my own,

but You remind me that You have my back.

My mind is convinced that I can make it

But my body thinks differently;

after many years of scars and self inflicted pain.

The greater the suffering, the greater the glory

The greater the struggle, the greater the victory

I am going at my own pace, cause I know I’ll make it

I know I’ll see You at the end of it welcoming me with open arms

The end is not too far, I can feel it.

So give me the strength to make it.

I have the victory, a sweet victory at that.”

 

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Listen to My Voice…

“You’re scared. You’re fearful that the steps you take will hurt you, but in the depths of those hurts, I will make you a beautiful representation of my mercy and of my grace. every step you take is anchored in me, so move freely in my love. The trials will come. They will bruise you, they will leave scars, but my glory for you will triumph over any suffering that you will face here on this broken world.

Cling to Me. I will guide your steps. Cling to Me because my love for You is greater than any sword, greater than any pain, greater than any burden. Every step you take is guided by My love for you. That means that I will never leave you stranded. I will never leave you to suffer on your own. I will never usher you into a season that you’re not ready for. I got you and remember that you are Mine, and I am yours forever. No one pluck you from My hands.” -G

Broken Pieces

Broken pieces, I’m scared to pick them up, I’m scared to try and put them together, will they look as good as new? Or will they look like the world ripped me to pieces? I’ve been trying to run from my reflection, scared to see what I’ve become…I lost myself and lost everything that was dear to me. I thought I could handle what the world had to offer, but she deceived me with her fake love and made me trust her while she kissed men the cheek. I’ve been knocked down so many times, that I don’t think I have the strength to get up on my own. Broken a million times over, I’ve seen nothing but pain, felt nothing but pain. What’s left of me is the reality of who I’m supposed to be, but when will I see that person? When I confront my fears? Or when I confront my broken pieces and realize that they are scars that remind me of my worth? Do these scars represent more than past hurt and disappointments?

SPEECHLESS

Speechless, that’s what I’ve become!

I’m hiding behind my own insecurities, wallowing in self pity, thinking that the world will give me a voice. I have no words to utter, my confidence is battered and bruised by the high expectations of men and women, who claim to know me more than I know myself. But the truth is they don’t KNOW me. They only see what their eyes are attracted to, how deceitful is that idea to think we know someone based on their looks, and how they are perceived. How foolish to think we can gather the thoughts floating through their minds by religiously approaching them to rip them to shreds because we want to expose them. But If we’re honest, we are just like them; If I’m honest I’m just like them, I have allowed myself to dive face down into the imagery of words that devalue life and the purpose of it. My speech doesn’t reflect who the true ruler of my heart is, but rather shows the futility of me being the ruler and failing miserably. My words are no longer guided by Him, my thoughts now focus on me, myself, and I, and how much we can get from each other. But the truth is I’m just a few seconds away from admitting how much I long to be heard. Can anyone hear me, can you hear my thoughts raging, wanting to rush out and spread its wings. But is it worth it? Once I open my mouth, and let my thoughts become visible, will I find the fulfillment I’ve been looking for?

Beaming through…

When will the Light beam through, will it fight the darkness

Is it not enough that the darkness has devoured a bit of my soul,

leaving me to grovel, and beg for my own freedom.

I’ve been mocked, abused, and trampled on, how long will I sit here? You ask?

If only I could rise up with the strength I have, and move out of this mess,

But I can’t because I’m still wallowing in self pity, wanting the world to notice me…

But it never will, it never will show me how beautiful, treasured, and loved I am.

I’ve got to move on my own, with the strength of God, propelling me to rise up, and fight for what is mine.

Darkness, you have no control over my life. How dare you try to tarnish what God has already made pure.

In the Name of Jesus, I stand on my feet, in truth, and in boldness, for I am made new.

The darkness once had me, but now I am walking in the light.

The truth is, The light was already with me, waiting on me to call on His Name.

The Light wanted so much to shine in me, giving me life, freeing me from what made me broken…

Goodbye 2015!

It is the last day of 2015, and of course I am led to write about how this year has changed me. I can start from the realization of how my identity has been twisted, and forced to fit in to what society wants it to be, how dependent I was on the opinions of others. How foolish my thinking was, to believe that the words of others could make we strive to live. It did the opposite, and how grateful I am that I woke up from that nightmare. I learned that fully depending on Christ means more than lip service. I now understand how far I have leaned in my own strength to do everything, without realizing that my strength will fail me. Oh how He has been humbling me, my struggles to always do things on my own, to always think less of myself, even though I was created in His image. How prideful of me to think that the God who created me, has no interest in me. How quickly I forget the promises He has fulfilled in my life, and the obstacles he has given me strength to overcome. Perseverance in my pursuit of Him! And while I may be tempted to move backward because moving forward intimidates me, I know deep down that The best things are found in Him and He so wants me to run in to His embrace; but I am constantly being tied down by my own insecurities, my own fears, my past, my own self. But just the thought of Jesus and How He thinks of me, makes me yearn to push harder, stand firmly, walk stronger. Because ‘the new year is waiting on me to get with the program.’ God has plans for me, and those plans require me to be ready ‘in season and out of season’. At the end of the day I must say that I know myself a bit more than I did last year. So ode to 2015, and cheers to the new year.

Welcome

Hey everyone, welcome to my site. I am excited to share the small snippets of stories that I have compiled over the past few years. Hopefully each story will connect with you in a special way. Thank you for stopping by.